Been Away for Too Long

I'll start posting another story here shortly. It's been too long since I subjected the Internet to my idea of a love story.

Terry and Gene 25

Three months had passed since Jason's death. Terry still had no furniture. She had decided to build up her savings and move away. No sense in buying furniture that she'd just have to move. She thought she'd go to Santa Fe and open a gallery there.

It was almost closing time. Terry was dusting the sculptures with her feather duster when the door opened. She turned to greet the customer, but instead her heart bottomed out of her chest and she dropped the duster.

Gene stood just inside the doorway. For a moment he just stared at her as if he couldn't believe she was standing there.

Terry walked toward him. "I'm getting ready to close. Do you want to come upstairs?" She asked quietly. He barely nodded.

Terry put the money in the safe, locked the back door, turned off the lights and went to the front door. Gene held it open for her. She locked it and led him up to her apartment.

"Still no furniture?" he asked.

"I'm thinking of moving. Maybe New Mexico," she said.

"New Mexico?" he asked. Had his voice cracked?

"Let's go up to the garden. My swing is still there." she said.

She held the door open for him as he climbed up. It was just light enough for them to see the glider.

They sat on the same side, not touching. They watched the stars come out in silence. Gene sighed a couple times, but she didn't dare look at him.

She felt his hand on her leg. Taking a deep breath, she wove her fingers in between his. She squeezed his hand and started to cry.

"Terry, I don't want to live without you. I can't. I tried and I can't." His voice trembled. "I didn't mean for him to use that money to kill himself. I just wanted him to go away so I could have you to myself; so he couldn't make you cry anymore. God, Terry, you have to forgive me. Please."

Terry looked at him in the darkness. "Forgive you? You don't need forgiving. I do. I said all those horrible things to you. And I lied to you." She was sobbing now.

He took his hand from her and put his arm around her, burying his face in her hair. He held her until she got control of herself.

"Please come home with me," he said.

All Terry could do was nod. He must have felt her response because he stood up and helped her out of the swing.

***

She woke in the morning to find Gene watching her sleep. He smiled when he saw she was awake and gave her one of his cherishing kisses. When he pulled away, Terry's stomach growled. They both laughed so hard tears ran down their faces.

"I'd better take you to breakfast." They got up and dressed and Gene said he was taking her to Franco's.

"You don't have to take me there. Any place is fine."

"I want to celebrate you coming back to me," he said.

She smiled at him.

When they got to Franco's, Gene held her hand as they walked in. Several heads turned as they were escorted to Gene's favorite table.

Breakfast was wonderful. Everything had been perfect from the moment she stepped into Gene's house. She pondered this as she sipped her coffee while Gene was off taking a phone call.
When he came back, instead of returning to his seat, he knelt beside her.

"Terry," his voice was husky. "I love you. I love you more than life itself. Will you marry me?" He held out a red box to her.

She took it with a shaking hand. Without opening it, she wrapped her arms around him and cried into his shoulder.

"Yes."

When she released him, there were tears in his eyes as well.

"Aren't you going to open it?" he asked.

"Oh!," she laughed. She opened the box to find the most beautiful heart-shaped diamond she had ever seen. She removed it from the box and slipped on her finger. It fit perfectly.

"You are amazing." she said with a smile.

"Not as amazing as you," and he pulled her down to kiss him.

Terry and Gene 24

Terry didn't sleep. She sat in the corner of her bedroom, propped up on pillows, waiting for daylight so she could start preparing.

In the morning, she went down to the store and got some wrapping paper for the paintings. She wrapped each one and brought it down to the van. Then she carried the urn down. Finally, she showered and got dressed. She wore a black, floor length sundress with a matching scarf and her work shoes.

Ann drove her to the funeral home and helped her set up. They placed the urn on a pedestal and they put the photographs of Jason on easels on either side of it. Then they arranged his paintings in a semi-circle around it. There were refreshments on a table in the back of the room. They had Jason's favorite songs playing in the background. It wasn't a conventional set up by any stretch.
As the people filtered in, she was amazed at how many of them there were. It was only about a half hour before the place had become a party rather than a memorial. There were people talking and laughing and admiring his paintings. They had the home to themselves, so someone turned up the music and a few people started passing flasks around. Terry only knew about a third of the people there, although everyone seemed to have a story to tell her after they introduced themselves.

When the man of the cloth arrived, there was such chaos that she paid him his stipend and invited him to join the party. No point in trying to make a solemn occasion out of this. He joined the fray gladly.

Four hours later, there was only she and Ann left. Terry sighed and looked around. For all those people, there was almost no mess. Terry went to get the wrappings for the paintings and found Gene standing in the lobby, arms crossed, leaning against the wall.

Terry, who had managed to stay dry eyed all morning, felt the tears running down her cheeks. She walked up to him slowly, knowing she should say something, but not sure what. He watched her with those eyes that she had fallen into so many times. Now they were closed to her, cold and hard.

"That was quite a party."

Terry nodded with a little laugh. "It was very like Jason. I planned one thing and it turned into something else completely." She cleared her throat. She took a deep breath. Then, she bowed her head and stilled her thoughts for a moment. She took another deep breath and looked up at him.

Gene looked into her eyes. Terry could see them melting, but he didn't move. It was then that she realized that it was over between them. She swallowed hard.

"I still loved him. I lied to you and I'm sorry. I'm asking for your forgiveness, but I understand if you can't give it to me." She took a deep breath. "If you're ever lonely, call me." She bowed her head and walked away.

She found the wrapping papers in the funeral director's office. She picked them up and carried them back to the room.

With Ann's help, she wrapped the paintings and took them out to the van. Then, she returned to the room and took the pictures of Jason down and put them in the van, too. Finally, she returned to the room one last time. She stood before the urn and put both her hands on it, trying to feel him one more time. For a moment he was there, but then he was gone and only the cold urn was beneath her palms.

"Goodbye, Jason," she whispered and left him behind.

When they got home, she unwrapped the paintings and hung them up again. Then she laid down in the middle of the living room and stared up at the ceiling.

"What are you doing?" Ann asked.

"I don't know. I just felt like it." Terry said.

"Are you OK?"

"I will be," Terry said. "I will be."

Terry and Gene 23

Terry saw the light filtering through her eyelids and smelled the antiseptic in her nose.

"Gene. Oh my god, Gene," she heard her voice in her ears and started crying.

"Terry?" Ann's voice and a cool hand holding hers.

"Gene's gone, too," Terry cried.

"Oh honey. Don't cry anymore."

Terry gasped. "Oh my god. What day is it?"

"Saturday."

"The service is tomorrow at ten."

"Yes. Once they get you hydrated, if you're OK, they'll let you go home. But you have to get control of yourself. OK?"

Terry breathed deeply and nodded. She tried to keep her mind blank so she wouldn't cry again.

The doctor came in to see her. "Well, Terry, it's good to see you awake. Do you know what day it is?"

"Saturday."

He asked to a few more questions. Then he nodded as if satisfied.

"Well, once this is all in, you can go home. I'm going to have them give you a sleeping pill to take home. A couple days of rest and good meals and you'll be back to normal."

"Thanks," Terry said.

***

An hour later, she was discharged and Ann drove her home.

When they got inside, Ann asked her if she wanted the sleeping pill. "No. Tomorrow after I get back from the service. Then I can rest." Terry said quietly. "You might want to get a hotel room. I don't have a bed."

Ann shook her head. "I've slept on the floor before."

Terry sighed. "I'm going to shower."

"OK. Want something to eat?"

"No. Tomorrow. I can't do anything until tomorrow."

Ann nodded and said nothing.

Terry and Gene 22

Three days later, Terry had sold most of her furniture and all of her jewelry. For the most part, only Jason's paintings remained. She had arranged to have him cremated along with the nude painting of her. She had dropped that off at the crematory that morning. The obituary was paid for and she had a picture of him printed along with it. The memorial service was going to be Saturday morning. Only two days away. Tomorrow she would pick up his ashes. For the service, she planned to have the paintings she owned on display alongside the pictures of him she had taken while they were together.

Her phone had rung frequently over the past three days, but she hadn't answered it unless it was someone calling her back about Jason. She didn't want to talk to Gene, Ann, or Jeannetta. She erased all of their voice mail messages without listening to them. She just wanted to get through this alone.

Saturday afternoon, she was sitting on her living room floor with Jason's ashes, crying, when someone pounded on her door.

"Terry? Terry! Are you in there?" Gene's voice was frantic.

"Go away," she whispered and continued to cry.

"Hey!" She heard Gene yell.

Moment's later, the knocking came again.

"Terry! It's Tony! Please open the door!"

"If I'm quiet, maybe they'll leave," she murmured to the urn.

Pounding again.

"Terry, please answer the door. In sixty seconds, I'll break it down."

"Ugh." She struggled to her feet. She staggered a little as she walked to the door. Her head felt disconnected from her body.

She unlocked the door, turned the handle and let them push the it open the rest of the way. She leaned against the wall behind it.

Tony walked in and stood in front of her, Gene on his heels.

Gene stepped around him and grabbed her shoulders. "Jesus Christ, Terry! Where have you been?"

"Here," Terry looked a him, feeling dead herself.

Gene looked at her dumbly. "What? Why haven't you answered your phone? What's wrong with you?" He shook her.

"Hey! Take it easy!" Tony said and grabbed Gene's shoulder.

He released her and clenched his fists. "Talk to me!" he yelled.

Terry felt the floodgates open and there was no stopping the torrent of words that came screeching out.

"He's dead! Jason is dead! Remember he said it would only take fifty dollars to get him where he wanted to go? Remember? He was wrong. It took a hundred. He loaded up on alcohol and killed himself. He was so swollen up, I couldn't even have a regular service for him because no one would have recognized him. Jason wanted to die and it only took a hundred dollar bill to get him there." Terry was screaming and waving her arms around. "All that time I spent loving him and taking care of him and you gave him exactly what he wanted in less than six hours. And while he was dying alone, I was sleeping with you!"

As she screamed the last sentence, Ann came rushing in.

"My god. Terry, what's going on?"

"She's blaming me," Gene said without emotion.

"You." Terry pointed at Ann. "You always said no good could come of it! Now he's dead and taking me to hell with him."

:"Jason's dead?"

"Yes!" She pushed herself away from the wall. Then she blinked. "It's getting dark in here," she said, but her voice sounded far away. Then the lights went out.

Terry and Gene 21

Gene drove Terry to the shop and dropped her off on the curb. He had an appointment to keep, so it was just kiss and fly.

Terry opened the shop and counted out her money from the previous day, prepared a bank deposit, and began dusting. She moved around the shop, carefully wiping off each picture frame and using a feather duster on the sculptures.

The door opened and she turned to smile at the customer. It was the beat cop.

"Oh, hi Tony. How are you?" Terry asked, turning back to her cleaning.

Tony walked over to her. "Terry," he said.quietly. Terry felt her heart start pounding. She turned to face him.

"What's wrong, Tony?"

Tony put his hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eye. "I think we have Jason. But we need someone to make a positive ID."

"Have him where?" Terry frowned.

Tony continued to look at her and folded his lips.

Terry gasped and started shaking all over.

"Dead?" she cried. "Oh, god, Tony! Not dead!" Her knees went out from under her and she hit the floor.

Tony knelt beside her, holding her as she cried through the initial shock.

"You gotta be wrong Tony!" She struggled to her feet. Sobbing, she went and got her wallet and keys. "Come on. Maybe I can tell you who it is."

She locked up and followed Tony to the squad car. By the time they arrived at the morgue, she was reasonably under control.

Tony walked with her and stood by her as the coroner came in.

"He's pretty swollen," he said as he stood at the head of the gurney.

Terry took a deep breath.

"Are you ready?" Terry looked up at him and nodded.

The coroner slowly pulled the sheet down. His face was so bloated, she barely recognized him. But there was his beautiful, long hair and the self-inflicted cuts on his arms.

"Oh, my god," she said and covered her face with her hand. "That's him" she sobbed. Tony put his arm around her and led her out of the room.

"What happens now?" she asked, still crying.

"We try to contact relatives."

Terry shook her head. "If there are any, they're distant at best. His folks are dead and he was an only child. He never talked about any other family."

"If no one comes forward, the state will take care of the interment," Tony said gently.

"Like in a pauper's grave?" Terry cried out. "Forget it. I'll take care of him."

"Are you sure?" Tony said. "It's pretty expensive."

"I'll find a way. I've got some savings." Terry stood up. "Can you take me home or do I need to get a cab?"

"I'll take you."

Tony drove her back to the shop. She entered and made a sign that said "Closed due to Bereavement" and hung it over her normal sign on the door. She locked up the shop and went up to her rooms to make phone calls.

Terry and Gene 20

Light filtered in through her eyelids and she could feel the warm blankets wrapped around her. She stretched her right hand out, searching for Gene, but she discovered that she was alone in bed. She pushed herself up into a sitting position and looked myopically around the room. She was running her hands through her hair when he walked, naked, into the room.

Embarrassed, she looked down and pulled the blankets around her. Gene laughed a little and crawled into bed with her. He pulled her down next to him and laid on his side, facing her.

"Can we talk about last night?" he asked.

Terry turned her head away. "OK."

Gene sighed. "You can't look at me?"

"No."

Silence.

"You do still love him." Gene stated.

"No. But I did once. And when he comes around, it opens up all the old scars. I just need time to sew them up again. It's not a process I really want you watching, you know?"

"So why were you crying all the way here?"

"Seeing him torture himself hurts me. Seeing you angry hurts me. Having him make rude comments because he drank his filter away hurts me."

"Not because you still love him."

"No." Terry finally turned to look at him. "You don't believe me."

"I want to. I'm thinking I suffer by comparison."

Terry sighed. "There's no comparing you. You're almost total opposites."

"Almost?"

"Well, like Jason, you've been around."

"What?"

Terry rolled her eyes. "I might not be all that experienced, but I know when I'm being handled by an expert."

Gene smiled sheepishly, but only briefly.

"Anyway, Jason's like fire. Moving fast and consuming everything in its path. I was in his bed within two weeks of meeting him. If it had been all up to him, it would have been two days.

"You're like water. Surrounding me, supporting me. If Jason hadn't shown up last night, we wouldn't be here right now. I think you just wanted to mark me for your own." she teased.

Gene looked away from her. "Maybe you just wanted to get him out of your system by sleeping with me."

"We're gonna fight about this, aren't we?"

"I want you. Body, mind, heart and soul. Long term. I want you to want to get rid of that painting. Without me asking."

Terry's eyes teared up. "I'd do anything you asked me to do. If you want that painting gone so badly, I'll get rid of it today."

"No. You're missing the point. I want you to want it gone. I don't want you to do it for me."

"What's the difference?"

"The difference is how you feel about me and how committed you are to our relationship."

Terry stared at him, open-mouthed. He smiled a little at her and kissed her bottom lip. "Sorry. I'm getting serious on you. C'mon. Let's grab a bite and I'll drop you off at the gallery."