Carrie and Keith 21

The briefest smile flickered across her face. Keith suddenly felt exhausted.

He let Carrie crawl into the bed first. Then he shut off the light and followed her. For a while, they lay stiffly under the covers, not touching. He heard her sigh and then she reached across him and grabbed his arm. She rolled over and pulled him along with her so they lay like spoons in a drawer. She held his arm around her waist and snuggled back against him. He felt her sigh again.

"Carrie, I'm sorry." he said into her damp curls. "I'm an idiot. I know Joey likes to piss me off and I believed his bullshit anyway." She remained silent. "I don't expect you to forgive me. I know that it's over between us. I just want you to know how sorry I am."

He felt her stomach knot. Then she began to cry. Her entire body shook with the sobs. Suddenly, she rolled over and got up on her knees. She pushed Keith on to his back and grabbed the front of his shirt, putting her face right in front of his.

"I've got nothing to lose. Do you understand? And I know I'll never hear this from you, but I don't care. I love you, Keith. I've loved you from the day you asked to read my story. And even when you move on with your life, I will still love you." Carrie laid her face down on top of her fists.

"You love me?"

Carrie sat up again. "Oh my god! Yes! Every time I touched you, I tried to send a message through my hands into you. That's why I slept with you the minute you asked. Not because I do it every day as part of my job but because I would give you anything that you asked for." Carrie pulled the collar of the sweatshirt over her face and sobbed into it.

Keith pushed himself up into a sitting position and leaned back against the headboard.

"Come here to me," he said. Carrie crawled over and he pulled her onto his lap. He held her, breathing in the scent of her warm, damp hair until she stopped crying.

"I'm an asshole and I don't deserve your love or your forgiveness, but I'll take both if you'll take me back. I love you more than life itself."

"I love you more than that," Carrie whispered.

Carrie and Keith 20

The weather had been threatening all day. Dark clouds scudding across the sky and the occasional clap of thunder as he drove home from work promised to deliver buckets of rain. He was about a mile from home when it started to pour.

By the time he had picked up his mail and managed to get under the protection of the porch, he was soaked through. He walked in and dropped his clothes in the doorway before limping to the bedroom for something dry to wear. He had just gotten his jeans on when he heard a knock at the door. He grabbed his shirt, walked into the hallway and arrived in the living room in time to see the door open.

"Carrie?"

She stood, water dripping from her curls and her clothing stuck to her like a second skin, looking at him.

"Jesus Christ, did you walk here?"

She cleared her throat. "Can I just stay until the storm passes?"

"Sure. But couldn't you have driven over?" He pulled his shirt on.

"I went for a walk. I thought I could beat the weather home." She shivered.

"Let me get you some dry clothes."

"No. I'm fine."

"Just come on," Keith said, frustrated. He turned and walked down the hall. He heard her follow him.

He grabbed some socks, sweatpants and a sweatshirt and laid them on the unmade bed. He stood up and looked at her.

She was leaning against the door jamb, eyes lowered. Besides being dripping wet, she was pale, almost transluscent. There were heavy, dark circles under her eyes and her face was drawn as if she hadn't been eating. All he wanted to do was pull her to him and hold her. She looked up at him.

He looked away and cleared his throat. "Here, you can change in here. Bring me your wet clothes and I'll throw them in the dryer for you."

She stepped into the room. He walked out past her. She began undressing before he even closed the door. He saw her pull her shirt over her head. His breath caught in his throat and he quickly turned his eyes away.

Moments later, she came out, wet clothes in hand. Without a word, he took them from her and limped down to the laundry room, picking his own wet clothes up on the way, and put them in the dryer together.

When he returned, he found her in the living room, sitting on the sofa. Keith could not help but smile when he saw her. She looked like a child playing dress-up wearing his clothes. She didn't smile back.

Keith went to her and held out his hand. "Come with me."

She reached up and took his hand and he helped her up from the couch. He walked her to the bedroom. Once in the doorway, she pulled her hand away.

"I just want you to warm up. I'm not going to try anything. Cross my heart." he said, making the motion.

Carrie and Keith 19

Carrie looked over her appointments for the day. 10:00--Joey Ruffalo. She groaned to herself.

"Good morning, Mr. Ruffalo," she said when she went to pick him up from the waiting room.

"Carrie?" She could hear the shock in his voice.

"Yes, sir. Please follow me." She walked down the hall.

When they were in the room, Joey looked at her. "God damn, you're not sleeping or eating either?"

"I'm going behind the screen. Please disrobe and cover yourself with this sheet. Let me know when you're done." Carrie sighed as she seated herself on the stool behind the partition.

"Shit. It's my fault, Carrie. I'm sorry," she could hear him undressing as he spoke. "I didn't think he'd take me so seriously."

Carried sighed again

"No offence, but you look terrible." Joey said. "I'm ready."

"Are you having any pain or stiffness anywhere?" she asked.

"Nope."

"What did you mean, 'I'm not sleeping or eating either'?" she asked as she folded back the sheet to work on his shoulders.

"He's a male version of you. Losing weight, big dark circles under his eyes, pale. You might make a whole person between the two of you.

"Carrie, he wanted to apologize to you, but your housemate wouldn't let him in."

"I know. I told her to keep him away."

"You should go see him. You two need each other."

Carrie started to cry. She stepped away from Joey and covered her face with her hands. She heard him sit up.

"I'm sorry. Someday I'll learn to keep my mouth shut." he said.

"It's OK. I'm sorry for crying in front of you." She found some tissues and tried to take deep breaths while she cleaned up her face.

"Go see him. If nothing else, you can tell him what an asshole he is."

Carrie laughed a little. "Maybe I should."

Carrie and Keith 18

Carrie was a another problem altogether. She never walked by any more. He didn't have her phone number because they had always talked in person. The only option was to go to her house and apologize face-to-face.

Another whole week passed before Keith could bring himself to see her. Finally, before going home after work Friday, he went to her house. Her car was in the driveway. He took a deep breath and walked up the steps.

Kim met him on the front porch. "What do you want?"

"I need to talk to Carrie," he said.

"She doesn't need to talk to you," Kim replied, arms akimbo.

Keith stared at her. He felt his blood pressure rising. "I want to apologize to her," he said through clenched teeth.

"For what? For destroying her? Because that's what you've done. You've absolutely destroyed her. She doesn't need you or your apology. She needs some healing time so she can move on with her life. Without you."

"You're not going to let me see her," Keith stated numbly.

"No."

"Will you tell her I'm sorry?"

"No."

"You're not even gonna tell her I was here, are you?" Keith snapped.

"No. Just mentioning your name makes her cry."

"Kim..."

"Just go home. You've done enough damage here." Kim turned and went into the house, closing the door behind her.

***

Three weeks had passed. Joey and Justin were with Keith in the basement, waiting for Michael to arrive.

"Keith, man, you have got to start eating and sleeping. You look like shit." Joey said.

Keith snorted. "Thanks," he said, a bitter little smile on his lips.

"Why don't you go and talk to her?" Justin asked.

"Yeah. I tried that. That bitch she lives with won't let me in, her number is unlisted and she never walks by the house anymore. And I don't want to go where she works because I don't want to get her fired."

"What were you gonna say to her, anyway?: Joey asked.

"I was going to apologize. That's all."

"Did you tell her that?" Justin asked.

"I tried. She told me that I destroyed her and that she didn't need me or my apology." He bent his head. "God damn." he said, rubbing his eyes.

Carrie and Keith 17

Keith posted the note on his front door before he left.

"Take your shit home. I'm out of the band."

He limped down the stairs, got in his car, and drove away.

When he got back home, it was well after midnight. Justin's car was still out front. Keith groaned as he pulled into the driveway. He leaned his head against the headrest and closed his eyes. His choices were to leave again, sleep in the car, or go in and let Justin have his say. He bowed his head and got out of the car.

Slowly, he limped up the stairs and into the house. He found Justin sitting on the sofa, listening to the radio.

"What?" Keith asked wearily when Justin stared at him.

"You look like hell. Are you not sleeping? Or not eating? Or both?"

Keith sighed. "I'm fine." he said and sat in the chair across the room from him.

"Yeah. You look fine," Justin sneered and looked away from him. He took a deep breath. "I don't know what you think she did, but you're wrong." Justin turned and gazed intently at him.

"She admitted it to me! And she said she did it for all of her clients!" Keith leaned forward.

"What? That she rubs their feet?"

"What?"

"Yeah. She rubbed his feet after she finished the massage."

"Yeah. I bet." Keith snorted and sat back in the chair.

"You dumbass!" Justin's voice was rising. "You have no idea where she works or what she does. You're basing everything on Ruffalo's -- fucking Ruffalo's -- comment! You value his word that much?" Justin was now standing, waving his arms wildly.

Keith stared at him, dumbfounded. Oh shit, he thought.

"Shit," he said and leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.

"Did you get in a fight with her over it, too?"

Keith nodded numbly without looking up.

"Good job! You've broken up the band and lost Carrie over a god damn foot rub." Keith could hear Justin pacing as he yelled. "Now what? Are you going to let yourself hit bottom like you did after you lost Vickie? Are you going to make me watch you die a little everyday again?

"Here's some advice. Apologize to both of them and hope they can forgive your sorry ass." Justin walked out and slammed the door behind him.

I am a dumbass.

***

Keith listened to the phone ring and took a deep breath.

"Hello?" Joey answered.

"Hey, Joe. It's Keith."

"Hey man."

Keith cleared his throat. "Listen. I'm sorry about last week. I'm a little touchy about her, I guess."

For a moment, there was silence.

"Ya know what, man? It wasn't your fault. I just like giving you shit. I didn't realize how serious you were about her or I wouldn't have said that. Don't worry about it."

Keith heaved a sigh. "So, do you want to come back and sing?"

"Yeah. Sunday night?"

"Yeah. See ya then."

"Alright." Joey said and hung up.

Well, that was easier than I thought.

Carrie and Keith 16

Keith stiffened as he felt Carrie's arms around him. She released him immediately and stepped in front of him.

"Are you OK? Oh my god, what happened to your face?" She reached for his bruised cheek. He jerked his head away. Her green eyes widened.

Keith stared stonily at her. She returned his gaze and he saw fear in her eyes. He bent down and put his face inches from hers.

"I heard Joey came to visit you," he snarled.

Carrie stared at him. "He did." She took a step backwards.

Keith stood up and looked down at her. "Yeah. He announced to everyone how good you were."

"OK. I'm glad he was satisfied." Keith's blood boiled at her choice of words.

"He said you did something extra for him."

"Well, yes. I do that for all my clients."

Keith's jaw dropped. Then he closed his mouth and gritted his teeth. He turned away from her and started walking toward the house.

"What's wrong? I only treated him like any other client," she cried and moved in front of him.

"Back off!" he bent down and yelled it in her face. Carrie jumped and stepped aside.

"Keith, please tell me why you're so upset!" she begged as he walked past her.

Keith reached the top of the steps. He turned to face her. "No wonder you were so easy. It's no big deal for you since you do it for all your clients," he sneered. "Go home. I'm through with you." He heard her gasp as he turned away. He went inside without looking back.

***

Carrie stood on his sidewalk, too shocked to move. She felt her chest constricting. She gasped for air and desperately tried to calm herself. After several minutes she thought she could make it home. She turned and walked slowly down the street.

When she arrived at the house, she went inside and sat at the kitchen table and buried her face in her arms. She struggled to cry silently, but the sobs won out in the end.

"Carrie! What's wrong?" Kim cried and put her hand on Carrie's shoulder.

"He says he's through with me!" Carrie wailed.

Kim sighed, an angry, frustrated rush of air.

"God damn it." she said and pulled a chair up next to her. Kim rubbed her back and she sobbed even harder.

Carrie and Keith 15

Keith's skin felt like it had a life of it's own. Every beat of the drums, every note sung, every thump of his bass, every wail of the guitar brought a new wave of goosebumps. When they finished the song, Keith took a deep breath and smiled down at the floor. He couldn't hit a wrong note tonight.

When he looked up, Justin was watching him intently. He gave him a half smile. Justin simply nodded and they started the next song on their playlist.

When practice was over and they were putting everything away, Justin patted his shoulder.

"It's good to see you happy again," he said so Joey and Michael couldn't hear.

Keith smiled at him. It's good to feel happy again.

***

The day started out bad. He tripped and fell getting out of bed. Then, he broke his coffee pot and had to clean up the glass. This made him late for work and the boss chewed him out in front of everyone.

It didn't improve as the day wore on. He got home late and so missed Carrie. He could have stopped by her house, but the guys were coming over for practice and he didn't want to make them wait.

Keith sat on his stool, tuning his guitar. Joey turned to look at him.

"Hey, I paid a visit to your little massage therapist," Joey purred. Keith clenched his jaw and stared at Joey, waiting for what was to come. "She was very good. She even did me a little extra," Joey winked. "To ease my tension, ya know?"

Keith felt a white hot flash go off in his head. He slipped off his stool and calmly set his guitar on its stand. He took a couple steps toward Joey. He heard Justin call out to him, but he ignored it. Then he lifted his cane and grabbed the bottom of it like a baseball bat and swung at Joey's head.
Joey ducked and dove at Keith. They tumbled to the floor and began exchanging punches. Justin and Michael pulled them apart, but not before blood ran from Joey's nose and Keith could taste iron in his mouth. Justin brought over his cane and helped him to his feet.

Joey shook off Michael's grip and put his face in Keith's. "You could have killed me, you crazy bastard!" Joey yelled.

"It's too fucking bad I missed. Get the fuck out of my house," Keith growled.

Joey raised his hands. "I'm outta here," he said and stormed up the stairs. The basement windows rattled when he slammed the front door.

Keith turned a cold gaze on Justin and Michael.

"I guess I'll see you later," Michael said and went upstairs.

Justin sat down on Joey's stool. "You know he just said that to piss you off." Justin said.

Keith limped toward the stairs. "I should have known this was going to happen," he muttered and slowly made his way upstairs. Justin followed him closely.

When they reached the kitchen, Justin stood in front of Keith. "You don't really think she did anything, do you? He was just trying to piss you off." Justin repeated.

"What are you defending her for? She doing you, too?"

Justin pressed his lips together. "Whatever. I'll see you later," he said, turned on his heel, and walked out.

Keith sighed and went to his room. Fully clothed, he laid on the bed. He spent the night thinking. About Carrie. About Joey. About Carrie and Joey alone together in a small locked room with a bed in it.

Carrie and Keith 14

Carrie laughed out loud. "Boy, I'm really transparent, aren't I?" and she laughed again. Keith could not help but smile. "It's my birthday," Carrie said and looked at him coyly over her glass as she took another sip of wine.

"You weren't going to tell me," Keith accused.

"It doesn't matter. What I wanted most was to spend some time with you."

Keith felt his heart skip a beat. He took another swallow of his wine. A big swallow.

"You're not mad at me, are you?" Carrie asked after the salads arrived.

"No." Keith shook his head. "I just wish you would have told me."

The meal was terrific. There was more than enough food and they shared a piece of Tirami Su with their coffee for dessert.

When they pulled up in front of Keith's house, he touched her arm. "Come inside. I have something for you." he said.

"OK," she said and put the car in park.

When they got in, he said, "Have a seat. I'll be right back."

Keith walked into his bedroom and sat down at his desk. He had drawn a picture from Carrie's story in charcoal. It was of Joryant weathering the rock storm and the dragon looking at the bottoms of his feet for Joryant's remains. He hadn't planned on giving it to her today, but it worked out well anyway. He put the picture into a frame he had bought and stood up to bring it out to her.

He found her seated on the sofa, scarf off, looking up at the ceiling. She sat forward when he entered the room. He sat down beside her and handed her the frame face down.

"I'd have wrapped it if I had known it was your birthday," he said.

She turned it over "Oh!" she gasped. "It's awesome. Thank you," she said, smiling at him. She pulled him toward her and kissed his cheek. He touched her cheek and she turned to receive his kiss on her lips. He felt her shiver before he pulled away.

He looked at her for a moment and took the frame from her, laying it on the coffee table. "Come here," he said and tugged on her arm. She stood up and turned around to straddle his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him like she meant it.

They were both breathing hard when they broke the kiss. Keith kissed her throat and felt her moan as much as he heard it. He slipped his hands under her shirt and felt the cool skin of her back under his palms. She bent to kiss him under his ear and sent goosebumps running down his back.

The next kiss was deeper. He ran his hands farther up her back until he felt her bra. He noted that there were not hooks on the back. He kissed her throat again as she arched her back and started to slide his hands around to the front.

Carrie sat back from him and let him touch her. She watched as his thumbs caressed her and she gasped a little. He looked up and found himself looking into her eyes.

"Do you have... I mean, I don't..." She stammered, her face bright red.

He covered her mouth with his fingers. "Yeah. Let me up." he whispered.

A moment later, they were walking into the bedroom. Keith closed the door behind them.

Carrie and Keith 13

Keith was just stepping out the door when Carrie drove up. Her car was an old, blue Chevy. It was big and roomy inside. Keith sat down carefully and pulled the door closed.

"Hi," she said and smiled at him. She was dressed head to toe in black. Even her head wrap was black. No hat today. Her pale skin nearly glowed next to the dark fabric.

He smiled back at her. "Hi. Hey, how come you were crying the other day?" He asked as they drove off.

Carrie was silent for a moment. "That was the first time that you initiated a hug." she said quietly.

The only sound came from the radio playing as Carrie drove to the restaurant. Keith felt like he was going on his first date ever. This is worse than puberty, he thought.

When they finally arrived, Carrie waited for him to get out of the car. She took his free hand and they walked toward the restaurant. Her hand was little and warm and somehow reassuring. He smiled at her even though she kept her head down and didn't see it.

Inside the restaurant it was dark and warm and smelled of tomatoes and garlic. They inhaled at the same time and then laughed.

"It's wonderful, ain't it?" she asked.

He looked down at her for a moment and the smile faded from her face. Even in the dim light, he thought he could see her blush.

"Yeah," he said, huskily. "It is."

"Hi. Just the two of you?" The hostess broke in.

Carrie giggled a little and turned to her. "Yes. Just us."

Carrie sat down next to him rather than across the table. She removed her head wrap and fluffed her curls with her hand before stuffing the wrap in her bag. She picked up the wine list.

"Are you a wine drinker?" she asked.

"I don't think I've ever had any." Keith replied. "Mostly beer and whiskey."

She laughed. "Can I order you a glass?"

"Sure," he smiled.

When the waitress arrived, Carrie ordered two glasses of Lambrusco. The waitress brought the wine and they ordered.

The waitress left and Carrie lifted her glass.

"Health, wealth and happiness," she toasted with a smile. They clinked glasses and took a sip of the deep red liquid. There was something almost tingly about the way it felt on his tongue.

Keith felt a light bulb go on in his head. "Are we celebrating something?" he asked suspiciously.

Carrie and Keith 12

Carrie was almost home when a car pulled up and honked at her. She turned to find Joey waving at her.

"Did you say you're a massage therapist?" he called. She nodded. "I've been looking for one. Do you have a card?"

"Yes. My place is right here. I'll bring you one."

Carrie went in and up to her room and got one of her business cards. When she returned, Joey was parked in front of her driveway, standing outside, leaning up against his car. Joey was the type that made the girls drool and he knew it. She walked over to him and held out her card.

"Here you go. My hours are listed on the back."

"Thank you, sweetheart." Joey smiled and walked around his car to get in.

Carrie rolled her eyes and walked back into the house.

***

"What are you doing Sunday afternoon?" Carrie asked, looking up at him, her eyes crinkled into a smile.

"We have practice at 6:00. Nothing before that." Keith said. He couldn't resist smiling back at her.

"Would you be interested in lunch out with me that day?" Carrie asked.

"Sure." Keith said hesitantly, looking down at the mail in his hand.

"Good! I know a great Italian restaurant. How about if I pick you up at 1:30?" Carrie ducked so he had to look at her again. Her eyes were teasing.

He took a deep breath around the butterflies that threatened to burst out of his stomach. "OK." He put his mail back in the mailbox and reached for her. She stepped forward into his embrace. He held her close and took another deep breath. Even through her hat, he could smell her. He released her. When she stepped back and looked up at him, he could see that her lashes were wet.

"See you Sunday," she said in a trembling voice. She turned away and walked home. Keith watched her every step and waved at her when she turned to look before going in.

Carrie and Keith 11

"Oh, all right" she closed her eyes and cleared her throat. "I was engaged to a guy named Rick. We didn't have the best relationship. We fought all the time and he... he hit me a few times." Keith felt his ire rise immediately. "But, I really loved him and I thought that eventually we would settle down, work everything out and live happily ever after.

"One night, we got in another argument. It was just like all of our other fights, so I can't even remember what it was about. Anyway, he... knocked me down and stormed out. I guess after that he went to a bar and got drunk because on the way home he got into a one-vehicle accident and was killed."

Carrie raised her soda can to her lips with a shaking hand. She took a sip and opened her eyes, but did not look at Keith. "I feel like it was my fault. If I would have backed down just once, he might still be alive." She kept her eyes on her soda can. "After therapy and help from Kim, I finally reconciled his death in my mind. But I still have this guilt thing going." She waved her hand around as if to explain her roiling emotions. She took another swallow of her soda and a deep breath. She turned to look at Keith. Here it comes, he thought.

"Your turn," she said.

Keith looked away. "My turn for what?"

Carrie sighed. "Come on. I spilled my guts. Now I want to hear about your wife."

Keith turned to look at her. He searched her face for a reason why he shouldn't tell her, but he couldn't find one. All that was there was softness, comfort, and compassion. If anyone might understand, she might. He rubbed his eyes and leaned forward so his elbows rested on his knees. He felt Carrie's hand on his shoulder.

"OK," he said. "Vickie and I were married for a year and a half. We were out riding on my motorcycle when a truck pulled out in front of us. I tried to avoid it, but we hit it anyway. Vickie was thrown off the back of the bike and was killed as soon as she hit the street. The bike somehow landed on it's side with my leg under it. I lost some toes and have nerve damage in my lower leg and I have to wear a brace to walk. I figure it's my punishment for letting her die." Keith leaned back on the couch and looked up at the ceiling. He was surprised that his voice hadn't cracked. He took a slow, deep breath. Carrie slid her arm though his and laid her head on his shoulder.

For a long time, they sat together in silence. Then, a knock came at the door shortly followed by the sound of someone coming in. Carrie quickly put a foot of space between them.

"Keith!" called a booming voice. Keith groaned.

"Living room!" Keith snapped.

"In a good mood as... Hey!" Joey stopped and smiled. "Who's this?" he asked as he seated himself next to Carrie. "I'm Joey Ruffalo," he said offering his hand.

Carrie took it and smiled. "Carrie O'Hearn." Keith felt the temperature of his blood rise angrily to boiling.

"Very pleased to meet you, Carrie." Joey purred.

Carrie nodded and smiled. She turned back to Keith.

"I need to go. Do you want me to help you straighten up?" He shook his head.

"Leaving so soon, sweetheart?" Joey asked. Keith felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise up.

"I need to be at work at 6:30 tomorrow." she said as she stood up.

"Where do you work that you start so early? " Joey asked, all pity and concern.

"I'm a massage therapist. I have a client at 7:00. She said over her shoulder. She turned to look at Keith. "Thank you for everything." she said with a shy smile. "Good Night," she said to both of them and she left.

"Where did you find that little dish?" Joey asked.

Keith turned and looked at Joey. He wished he could shoot laser rays from his eyes and fry Joey where he sat.

"Damn, brother! Don't get all pissed off. I was only complimenting your good taste." Joey's smile was insincere at best.

"So help me god, Ruffalo, I will rip your lungs out if I ever find you playing with her. Got it?"

"You'd have to catch me first. And we both know that's not going to happen."

Keith gritted his teeth. "You'll have to sleep sometime. Is there a reason why you're here?"

"Yeah, actually, I left my work ID here last time we practiced." Joey stood up and headed for the basement.

Moments later, Joey called from the front door, "I found it. Don't worry, I'll show myself out."
Keith wanted to wring the mocking tone right out of Joey's throat.

He leaned his head back on the sofa. Despite the deep breaths he took, he couldn't get Carrie's scent out of his nose. He thought about what might have happened if Joey hadn't shown up.

Carrie and Keith 10

Keith paced the living room floor slowly. He had showered, straightened the house, washed the dishes, and called in an order for pizza with sausage and onions. There were still ten minutes left until she was supposed to arrive. He sighed, trying to dispel the butterflies wreaking havoc in his stomach.

Finally, he heard a knock at the door. His heart began thudding loudly. He went over to answer it. Before he opened the door, he took a deep breath.

She stood on the porch with her papers in her arms. She smiled shyly at him.

"Where's your get up?" he asked as she opened the screen door.

"The sun's down far enough that it doesn't bother me. Plus, it's not a long walk." she said as she stepped across the threshold. Keith swallowed hard and led the way into the living room.

They sat down on the sofa so close that their arms were touching. She handed the copied pages to him.

"Here you go," she said. Her skirt ended just above her knee and the lacy edge of her white slip peeked from under it. Keith's eyes were drawn to it even though he tried to pretend he was flipping through the pages to see how many there were. When he lifted his head to look at her, he caught her examining his face. She blushed and lowered her eyes. He smiled at her discomfort.

"So, you've been living here for...four or five months now? Keith asked.

"Yes," she said.

"What about before that?"

Carrie frowned. "I lived in an apartment by myself for a year." Keith felt that there was more than she was telling him, so he waited.

The doorbell rang and he got to his feet. After exchanging his money for the pizza, he returned to the living room. Carrie was looking at a picture of Vickie. She turned and smiled at him.

"Who's the pretty lady?" she asked as she walked over to take the pizza from him.

"My wife," he said.

"Your...wife." she said slowly.

Keith cleared his throat. "My late wife." Keith said and looked down at the pizza that they were both holding.

"Oh. I'm so sorry," she said and took the pizza over to the coffee table.

"My late wife," Keith muttered to himself as he walked to the kitchen for sodas.

When he got back to the living room, Carrie was bent over, folding the lid to the pizza under. Keith felt his breath catch in his throat and a rush of heat run through his body.

She stood up and caught him staring at her. Even in the dimming evening light, he could see her blush. She walked up to him and took the soda from him. She kept her eyes lowered. Keith resisted the urge to take her chin in his hand and kiss her.

"Do you think we need glasses or plates?" His voice was husky.

"Only if you want them. I'm fine without." she said.

They sat down on the sofa and ate a couple of pieces of pizza in silence.

"You were telling me about where you lived before you moved in with Kim," Keith prompted.

"It was just a little, one-bedroom apartment."

"And before that?"

Carrie took a deep breath. "Oh, you don't want to hear about my boring life."

Keith waited silently until she looked up at him. He recognized the look in her eyes right away. It was the same sadness he had seen in the mirror for the last two years.

"Well, yeah, I do." Keith said.

Carrie picked up her soda from the coffee table and sat back on the couch. "I'm really full." she said.

"Carrie," Keith said. She turned to look at him. After staring him in the eyes for a moment, she sighed deeply and looked down at her hands.

Carrie and Keith 9

Carrie walked until she was out of his sight, then she ran home. She burst into the side door and ran up the stairs.

"What's wrong?" Kim called after her.

"Nothing," Carrie called back and rushed into her room. "Can I borrow your fax again?"

"Sure."

Carrie moved frantically around, gathering her papers. Then, she flung open the closet door.

"What's going on?" Kim asked from the doorway.

"He asked me to dinner and I only have an hour to get ready and copy all of those pages." She pointed to the bed where she had set them.

"Invited you to dinner? At his house?" Kim asked.

"Yes. He's ordering pizza." Carrie pulled a jean skirt and a pink short-sleeved blouse from the closet. "What do you think of this?" She held the clothes in front of her.

"That looks cute," Kim said.

"OK. 'Scuse me." she said and ran past Kim and down to the bathroom.

Carrie tore off her clothes and jumped into the shower.

"What's the occasion?" Kim asked from the doorway.

"I didn't ask. I was afraid if I said too much, he'd change his mind."

"Just be careful. It's not like you'll be in a public place..." Kim's voice trailed off.

Carried turned off the shower and grabbed a towel. She sighed.

"First of all, I've already been in his house. Second, I like him. A lot. And he seems to like me. I think I can trust him to act the gentleman."

"Still. Even nice guys are capable of date rape." Kim said dourly.

Carrie stepped out of the shower. "Kim, I'm really nervous and could use a few words of encouragement. No more fear-mongering, OK?"

Kim sighed. "OK. You're a strong, capable woman. Have a good time. I hope it ends up the way you want."

"I hope so, too."