Terry and Gene 19

She walked past him and headed for the stairs. He took her arm and turned her to face him.

"You still love him, don't you?" he asked.

Terry shook her head, tears spilling down her face.

"Look at me." he ordered.

Terry raised her eyes to him. His were like beer bottle glass, cold and hard. "Don't lie to me." he warned.

"I'm not," she said.

"So, why did he come here? He must think you still care for him."

"He knows I won't turn him away if he needs help. I'm 'old reliable'." she said bitterly.

He pressed his lips together and stared hard into her eyes. She felt like he was boring into her soul.

"Come on," he said and pulled her toward his car.

"Where are we going?"

"My place."

"I..."

He stopped and turned her around to face him again. He didn't tell her to shut up, but the look he gave her was plenty clear. Terry closed her mouth and he walked her to his car.

During the ride to Gene's house, Terry occasionally wiped tears from her cheeks. He was silent, offering neither reproof nor comfort. Terry wasn't sure if it was the pain of old wounds opened by seeing Jason again or the anger on Gene's face that hurt the most.

When they arrived at his house, Gene came around and helped her out of the car. She had stopped crying, but in her heart of hearts, she was afraid to look him in the eye again.

Still holding her hand, he pulled her through the house and into the bathroom where he started to undress.

Terry looked at him. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Taking a bath. And so are you. Blow your nose and take your clothes off."

Terry stared at him, open-mouthed.

"Get a move on or you can forget blowing your nose and I'll take your clothes off," he threatened, standing before her with just his jeans on.

Terry's knees nearly buckled, but she managed to find some tissue and blow her nose. For a moment, she stood with her back to him, feeling like she was made of jelly. She raised her shaking hands and tried to unbutton her blouse. She heard Gene turn on the water and the next thing she knew, he was behind her, arms around her, unbuttoning her shirt. He kissed her shoulder as he bared it and Terry let her mind go blank.

Terry and Gene 18

Terry looked up to see Gene standing there. His eyes softened a little when he saw her tears, but not much.

Terry released Jason's hands and wiped the tears off her face. "Gene, this is Jason Pierce. Jason, this is Gene Grey."

Jason nodded and smiled. "Like I wouldn't know him. Terry has played all your CD's to death. Some she had to buy three copies of. Sometimes when we were in bed, I'd wonder if she was thinking of you or me."

"Jason!" Terry cried. Gene's face reddened angrily.

"Well, it's true." Jason laughed.

"Gene bought one of your paintings. The urban landscape."

Jason nodded, smiling, not seeming to notice the rage boiling up in Gene. "A painting only a fellow alcoholic could love."

Terry could sense that Gene was barely breathing.

"I saw the painting you did of Terry." Gene growled.

Jason's blue eyes widened and he smiled at Gene again. "It's a good likeness, don't you think? Her skin is like porcelain. Sometimes I wonder why I let her slip away..." Jason drifted off and turned his blue eyes on Terry. "Actually, I came to say goodbye. I'm leaving town."

"Do you need money?" Terry asked, squatting down to get her wallet from under the desk.

"Fifty dollars should get me where I want to go," he said.

Before Terry could locate her wallet, she heard Gene say, "Here's a hundred. Go as far as you can. One way." She gasped and stood up.

Jason took the money with his left had and nodded. "Understood, my man." He turned to smile at Terry. "She's a good woman. I hope you treat her better than I did." Jason walked to the door and opened it. "Glad you liked the picture of Terry. I enjoyed painting it." he said as he let the door close.

Gene spun on his heel and walked out after Jason. Terry was too shocked to even cry out to him to stop. Numbly, she looked at the clock. It was five after eight, actually past closing time. She locked the money in the safe, resolving to count it in the morning. She locked the back door, turned off all the lights and walked to the front door. Gene was just opening it as she got there. He backed up and let her out. She couldn't even look at him.

Terry and Gene 17

Terry looked up to smile at the customer who entered the gallery, but when she recognized him, her smile faded and a familiar ache gripped her chest.

"Hi Jason," she said quietly.

Jason smiled at her. "Terry," he nodded. "You look beautiful, as always."

Despite herself, Terry felt her cheeks glowing as Jason leaned on the counter, resting his elbows on it and folding his hands.

He looked freshly showered and shaven. His long, black hair was pulled into a ponytail. He wore a white oxford shirt and jeans.

"How are you?" Terry asked.

"Oh, you know, getting along. You are absolutely glowing. Life treating you well?"

"Seems to be."

"As you deserve it to." Jason smiled at her.

Terry looked down at his hands. There appeared to be something wrapped around his wrists. As if she were in a daze, she reached for his right hand and held it while she unbuttoned his cuff and pushed his sleeve up. His forearm was wrapped in bandages from the wrist to the elbow. Grimly, she uncovered his left arm as well and found it in the same condition. She held both of his hands and stared down at his arms in disbelief. The tears were unbidden but they slid down her cheeks anyway.

"Why?" she whispered.

"I don't remember. They tell me I did it with the broken neck of a gin bottle." He laughed a little. "You know I love gin, but it doesn't love me."

"You just checked yourself out of the hospital." Terry stated.

"Yeah. Seemed like the thing to do."

"If you had stayed, they could have at least monitored you for infection." Terry sobbed, still holding his hands.

"No reason to stay. I don't have any feeling in my right hand. I can't paint."

"What? But won't it come back?"

Jason shrugged. "They said it might."

"Why do you do this?" Terry cried and squeezed his hands in hers.

The door opened. Terry bowed her head to hide her face, hoping the customer would go and look around. Instead, the footsteps came right up to the counter and stood there.

Terry and Gene 16

"Jeannetta!" Terry said, with a smile as she opened the door.

"Hi! You're here early," Jeannetta smiled back as she came in. "Honey, you're here really early. Have you been sleeping with my brother?" she teased.

Terry felt her face explode into crimson. "No. Nothing like that. Come here." Terry said and led her to the kitchen to show her the unopened bottle of whisky on the table.

"He called me at one this morning just about beside himself. He said he hadn't slept in four or five days." Terry said.

Jeannetta nodded. "Did he tell you?"

Terry nodded.

"I probably shouldn't have told him, but I was so scared," Jeannetta sat down at the table. Terry joined her. "I had already gone for the needle biopsy when I told him. I got the results this morning. It's clean. They are still going to remove it, but it's not cancerous." A tear ran down Jeannetta's cheek.

Terry squeezed her arm. "I am so happy for you. Gene will be so relieved." Terry took a deep breath.

"So, my brother hasn't taken you to bed yet?" Jeannetta teased. "He's been seeing you for, what, three months now? Honey that's some kind of a record. Don't tell me you're still a virgin." Jeannetta laughed.

"No. I'm not. But thanks for asking. And the pace of our relationship is just fine with me." Terry said and stood up. "Do you think he's got any coffee here?"

Jeannetta stood up. "Let me do the honors. So, I guess he's sleeping now. What did you do for him?"

Terry related the actions she had taken and how he had acted after the shower. "It was about two-thirty, I think, when he fell asleep."

"Lavender, huh? Well, as long as it helped him. And what was in the tea?"

"Valerian root, chamomile, lavender and mint. He didn't like it, but I think he was past caring at that point."

"All that work and you probably could have just had sex with him and that would have done the trick." Jeannetta teased.

Terry just smiled and shook her head. "Do you ever not say what you're thinking?"

Jeannetta laughed and brought her a cup of coffee. "Want anything in it?"

"No. Black is good." Terry said. "Thanks."

They sat at the kitchen table, drinking their coffee in silence for a moment when they heard doors open and close upstairs.

"I wonder if he's just peeing or if he's going to come down," Jeannetta said.

Moments later they heard his footsteps on the stairs. Jeannetta stood up. He walked into the kitchen, wearing only a pair of ratty jeans.

"Jeannetta," he said and hugged her. "What did they find?"

"Just a tumor. Not cancer. They're still going to remove it," Jeannetta's voice cracked and she began to cry. Gene held her tightly and buried his face in her hair. Terry still sat at the table, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"As long as you're going to be OK, I don't care what they have to do." Gene said, releasing her. "And you," he turned to Terry "are my guardian angel. I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I hope I keep doing it." He walked over and kissed her gently on the lips. He broke the kiss and looked down into her eyes. As always, Terry lost herself in them. He kissed her again.

"Alright, you two. Get a room. Or better yet, let's go get breakfast. I'm suddenly starving." Jeannetta said, bringing Terry back to reality.

"Sounds good. Let me get a shirt on." Gene said and left the room.

"So, what do we do with this?" Terry asked, pointing at the whisky bottle.

Jeannetta picked it up and put it in her huge handbag. "I have a whole collection of bottles Gene didn't open. I usually use them for parties." Jeannetta reached out and hugged her. "Thank you for taking care of him."

Terry and Gene 15

Even in the porch light Terry could see the dark circles under his eyes. It didn't look like he had bathed or shaved in days, either. She wrapped her arms around him and listened to his heart beating. At first, he just stood limply and let her hold him. Then he pulled away from her and shut the door. He leaned against it.

"Jeannetta found a lump in her breast," he said.

"Oh, no. I'm so sorry," she said and held him tighter. He slid to the floor and she went with him. She felt him fighting the tears. Once he seemed in control again, she sat back so he could look at her.

"Come with me. Let's see about getting you some sleep." She stood up and offered him her hands.

Once he was on his feet, she led him to the bathroom. "Take a shower. I'm going to make you some tea that will help relax you. I'll be back in three minutes, OK.

Gene nodded and began to undress. Terry rushed down to get the tea.

When she returned to the bathroom, he was just stepping out of the shower. He had a towel wrapped around him, but the sight of him so scantily clad nearly took her breath away.

She smiled shyly at him. "OK. Take me to your bedroom and we'll see if you can get some sleep tonight," she said quietly.

He took her offered hand and brought her to his bedroom. She could tell he was barely functioning because his expression never changed. The bed was still made.

Terry turned the bed down for him. He dropped the towel and slipped under the sheets. Terry felt her face redden, but she stuck to the job at hand.

"First, drink this. It should be cool enough now." Gene took the cup and drained it, only making a face to comment on the taste. Terry took the lavender oil and crawled up on the bed. She rubbed a little into his temples, palms and the soles of his feet. "If you can lay on your stomach, I can do your back," she murmured in his ear and kissed his cheek.

Obediently, he slid down and laid on his stomach. Terry folded the sheet down to his hips and used some of the lavender lotion to massage his back. Just gentle massage, no pounding or contact with the spine. She was about five minutes into it when she heard him snore. She slipped off the bed and covered him. Watching him, she waited a few more moments to be sure he stayed asleep and then she settled herself in the chair across the room from him.

She woke several times to check on him. Each time he was breathing evenly, but it was several hours before he turned over in his sleep. Finally at about ten o'clock, she got up from the chair and visited the bathroom. As she was coming out, the doorbell rang. She rushed to get it so they wouldn't ring it again.

Terry and Gene 14

"Gene, please don't. Can I come over? I've got some natural sleep remedies that we can try. Please?" She was already up, finding her clothes.


"I've already tried all that crap. If I could just have one drink, I'd be OK." Gene sounded desperate.

Terry got dressed as much as she could with one hand. "Gene, listen to me. I can be there in less than an hour. I'll call you on my cell and you can talk to me the whole time. Please. Let me try to help you."


Half dressed, Terry went into the bathroom and got some lavender oil and lotion.

Gene sighed. "OK. But you'll call me on your cell?"


"Yes. Give me two minutes to get dressed and I'll call you right back."

"OK." Gene hung up on her.


Terry finished dressing and rushed into the kitchen to get some sleep aid tea and shoved all of it into a bag. She grabbed her cell phone and raced down the stairs to her van. As soon as she closed the door, she dialed Gene.

"Terry?"


"Yes. I'm in the van now. I'll be there as fast as I can. Gene, what happened?"

"I'll tell you when you get here."


"OK. Did you buy a bottle already?"

"Yeah," dejectedly.


"OK. Where is it?"

"Sitting here in front of me. God, Terry, I'm so tired but I just can't sleep." He sounded like he wanted to cry.


"Can you leave it where it is and go to another room until I get there?"

A deep sigh. "Yeah. You'll keep talking to me?:"


"Yes. I'm here."

Terry grilled him on his physical symptoms while she drove. He wasn't in any physical pain, so he probably wasn't sick. She asked if he'd been eating and he said he wasn't sure. Something had pushed him over the edge, but he wasn't telling her what it was.


"Where are you now?" Terry asked him.

"In the Genesis room," he said. "With the door locked. I left the bottle in the kitchen."


"OK. I'm only another ten or fifteen minutes away." Five, if I can keep up this speed and not get caught.

She continued to talk to him until she pulled into his driveway.


"OK. I'm here. Can you come to the door?" There was no answer, but as she got to the door, it opened.

Terry and Gene 13

Gene began calling her three or four times a week. They saw each other whenever Gene's schedule permitted it. Terry had never felt so wonderful. People were asking her if she was losing weight or if she had dyed her hair because they knew something was different, but weren't sure what it was.

***

Then, a week went by and Gene hadn't called her. She was a little worried and had tried to call him once, but got his answering machine. She figured something had come up that he couldn't get away from and she tried to sweep her concern under the rug.

When her phone rang Wednesday morning at one o'clock, Terry found her worry again.

"Hello?"

"Terry, it's Gene." Something was not right about his tone.

"Hey, I was worried about you. Are you OK?"

"No."

"What's wrong?"

"I haven't slept in four or five days." His voice shook.

Terry sat up. "Why not?"

"Terry, I need a drink. Bad."

Terry and Gene 12

Gene was standing next to her bed, looking at a painting on the wall. It was a nude. Or, a partial one since there was a sheet covering most of the torso.

"That's you," Gene said flatly.

"Yes."

"And Jason painted it."

"Yes."

"No wonder you're his favorite customer," Gene said, crossing his arms and turning an icy stare on her.

Terry pressed her lips together. "I was his favorite customer. That was over a year ago." She saw him relax a little. "I met Jason at the hospital while he was drying out. I was picking up art for the gallery and saw his work. So, I went to meet him and things went forward from there. We were only together for nine months but he was sober the entire time. Everyone thought he had finally gotten control over it." Gene looked down at her. He must have seen the hurt in her eyes because his melted. "Then one day he finally told me that he loved me," she laughed. "I thought he was going to ask me to marry him. Instead he told me that he loved alcohol more and that he felt empty without it. I told him that I couldn't play second fiddle to his addiction. So... that was that."

"Do you still see him?"

Terry gave him a wry half smile. "You mean, am I still sleeping with him."

Gene looked at her in silence.

"I'm not. In fact, he hasn't even been at the hospital in the last four or five months."

"You can tell he loved you by the way he painted you."

Terry felt tears sting her eyes. She blinked them quickly away.

"Come on, let me show you my garden," she said and took his hand. She pulled him into the hallway and reached up to open the hideaway stairs. She led him up to the roof.

The sun was just setting, so there was still plenty of light. She had a cactus garden and a little herb garden and she showed him her plants. She also had a two seated glider and this is where they ended up sitting, holding hands.

"I'm sorry for getting angry," Gene said.

"Understandable. That picture is a little shocking. Though I'm not exactly sure how you ended up in my bedroom," she teased and saw him turn his face away.

"Would you get rid of that picture if I asked you to?" Gene asked.

"If our relationship warranted it, yes, I would. If you're asking me to get rid of it today, the answer is no."

Gene nodded, seeming to accept that answer.

"It's awesome up here."

"Yeah. You can see the whole town and the City is off in the distance behind us. Once it gets dark, you can see the lights.

Gene stared ahead. Terry turned and looked out at the horizon with him.

"I've been dry for a year and a half so far this time," Gene said quietly.

"One day at a time, right?" Terry said.

"Right." Gene sighed. He released her hand and put his arm around her shoulders. She leaned into him and rested her head on his chest. Now it was her turn to sigh. They stayed there until well after dark.

"I'd better get going," Gene said finally.

"OK," Terry sighed and slowly got out of the glider with Gene following her just as hesitantly.
She held the screen door open for him and watched him climb down the stairs. She followed, making sure everything was securely closed. They walked to the front door, holding hands. She opened it for him and he stepped down onto the stairs. She stood in the doorway. He turned to her. "Thank you," he said, quietly.

"Thank you for coming," she said, her heart pounding wildly.

Gene took her face in his hands and kissed her softly on the mouth. Terry had never felt so cherished in her entire life. She shivered when he released her.

"Good night," he said and walked down the stairs.

Terry and Gene 11

The gallery was closed on Tuesdays and Wednesdays so Terry spent Wednesday morning shopping for dinner ingredients and Wednesday afternoon cleaning. When five o'clock rolled around she took a shower and dressed in a floor length navy blue sundress and her work shoes since she would be standing while cooking.

She made a pitcher of iced tea and waited for him to arrive.

At five forty-five, there was a knock on the door. She straightened her dress and looked out the peep hole. There Gene was in all his glory. She took a deep breath and opened the door.

"Hi," she said, smiling.

"Hi." He looked around as he came in.

She had the living room dimly lit with candles. Only the kitchen light was on.

"This is my space," she said, opening her arms. "The bathroom is down that little hall and to the right. This is my living room, kitchen and," touching the breakfast counter pass through, "dining room."

Gene looked at the paintings that she had on her walls.

"Are these by the same guy that did mine?"

Terry nodded. "Sometimes I buy his work direct. Some he's given to me. I used to be his favorite customer." she said with a bitter laugh.

Gene turned around with a little frown. Terry glossed over it.

"Come have a seat," she patted one of the bar stools. "And I'll start cooking."

He was still frowning when he came to sit down.

"I have iced tea, mineral water or milk." He had drunk mineral water at Franco's, so she had bought some.

"Mineral water," he smiled at her now. She poured him a glass and poured herself some iced tea. Then she set to work.

First, she started the Alfredo sauce, because it had to cook on low and she started water boiling for the fettuccine. The broccoli was already in the steamer and the chicken was marinating in the refrigerator.

"This Alfredo sauce isn't authentic, but it's yummy" she said as she put the ingredients in the pot.

"I don't think anyone besides my mom and sister have ever cooked for me."

"Really? I like to cook." She took a red, green and yellow pepper out of the fridge and scrubbed them in the sink.

"Why all the peppers?"

Terry shrugged. "I like the colors. Also, they each taste a little different." She seeded them and cut them into strips. She gave Gene a couple of each color to try and kept a couple of each out for herself, too.

"The red and the yellow ones are sweeter, kind of." he said.

She nodded. "The green ones are immature red peppers, I think."

She had already turned on her cast iron skillet. She poured in a little olive oil and swirled it around. Then she put in the peppers and let them cook a little. She put the chicken, which she had pounded thin, in the skillet as well. She stirred the Alfredo sauce, dropped the pasta, and set the timer on the steamer.

She could feel Gene's eyes on her, but she couldn't look at him for fear that she would get lost and forget what she was doing.

Everything was done at once. She plated the food, put the pots in the soapy water to soak and refilled their drinks before seating herself next to Gene.

"That was amazing," he said, smiling at her.

"Well, thank you," she said, feeling her cheeks redden.

They chatted about nothing much during dinner. Terry cleared their plates and brought out chocolate chip cookies and milk for dessert.

Gene laughed, obviously delighted in her choice of dessert.

"I can't remember the last time I had this, either," and he laughed again. Terry smiled. This was almost too good to be true.

After dessert, she asked him if he could stay for a while or if he had to go.

He looked down at her and smiled. "No. I can stay, but where's your bathroom again?"

"Down the little hall and off to the right. Let me wash up these dishes quick and I'll show you my garden."

Terry washed up the dishes and set them to dry in the drainer. Then she realized that Gene wasn't back yet. She frowned and walked toward the hall. She saw that her bedroom light was on. Her heart thudded wildly as she walked toward it.